The article is developed in partnership with BetterHelp.

In a world where conformity often seems like the norm, embracing your true self can be challenging. However, accepting your authentic self can be critical for your overall mental and emotional well-being. It can also be a liberating experience. 

In this article, we’ll explore the importance of being authentic and honoring your true self and provide practical tips for embracing who you are.  

No. 1

The Importance of Authenticity 

Authenticity is about living in alignment with your values, beliefs, and inner truths. It’s about accepting who you are and presenting that to the world. While it may sound easy, being authentic can often be scary, particularly when dealing with issues around sexual, gender, or cultural identity. 

While it may feel good to fit in, when we suppress or deny parts of ourselves to fit societal expectations or gain approval from others, we usually end up hurting ourselves in the process. It can be painful to ignore or mask parts of who we are for the sake of others. 

Additionally, research shows that being authentic has an array of benefits.

Research shows that being yourself: 

• Reduces stress

• Lowers anxiety

• Creates better relationships

• Boosts self-esteem

• Enhances communication

• Encourages innovation and creative thinking

• And more 

As a result, the consequence of denying who you are can be truly detrimental to your overall well-being. 

No. 2

How to Honor Your Authentic Self 

While it may not be easy to be 100% yourself all the time, here are some ways to get more comfortable being who you are. 

1. Practice Self-Reflection – Take time to explore your values, passions, and desires. Knowing how you feel about things can make it easier to know yourself. Journaling, meditation, and quiet contemplation can all help you connect with your feelings and thoughts. 

2. Embrace Your Identities – Celebrate all aspects of your identity, including your sexual orientation, gender identity, cultural background, and personal interests. Recognize that diversity is a strength and that each facet of your identity contributes to your uniqueness. 

3. Set Boundaries – Honor your needs and boundaries by setting limits on what you’re willing to accept in your relationships and interactions. Communicate assertively and respectfully when your boundaries are crossed, and prioritize self-care to maintain your emotional well-being. 

4. Express Yourself Creatively – Try to find outlets for creative self-expression. Some examples include art, writing, music, or other creative pursuits. Getting creative can make it easier to express how you feel without having to use your words. It can also lead to discovering parts of yourself that you may not have known were there. 

5. Seek Supportive and Affirmative Care – Consider seeking therapists and health professionals who understand and respect your identities and experiences. Affirmative care can provide a safe and validating space to explore and honor your authenticity. For more information on affirmative care and finding an LGBTQIA+ therapist, see https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/therapy/how-to-find-an-lgbt-therapist-near-you/.  

6. Cultivate Authentic Relationships – Surround yourself with people who appreciate and support you for who you are. Foster connections based on mutual respect, understanding, and trust. Additionally, try to get rid of relationships that undermine your authenticity or make you feel like you can’t be yourself. 

7. Practice Self-Compassion – Be gentle and compassionate with yourself as you navigate the ups and downs of life. Treat yourself with the same understanding and kindness you would give to a loved one, and try to embrace all the quirks that make you who you are. 

8. Live Your Values – Align your actions with your core values and beliefs. Make decisions that are true to who you are and reflect what matters most to you, even if they diverge from societal expectations or norms. 

Takeaways

Honoring your true self is a lifelong journey that requires courage, self-awareness, and self-compassion. By embracing authenticity and living in alignment with your values and beliefs, you can cultivate a deeper sense of fulfillment, connection, and resilience in all areas of your life. 

Do you ever wonder how some people can stay so focused no matter what is happening around them?

Gosh, what is up with those people!? An asteroid could be approaching earth, and they'd still be in their own world.

Confession. I'm one of those very people. *covers eyes*

I'd like to offer some insight into the mind of someone (me) who can stay freakishly focused.

Oh, I do have my moments (don't get me wrong), but it does take a lot - and I mean a A LOT - to get me distracted.

Once I set my heart on something, it's done. It's over. I will follow through.

Now, for the positivity - that has taken a lot of work for me over the years. It'll always be a work in progress for me, but I think staying focused + positive go hand-in-hand.

I'll be sharing 10 ways that have worked for me in staying focused + positive in business and in life. 

I hope this will be helpful to those of you who are trying to find that balance. 

Before we start, first thing's first: I want to point out something so important.

We are all born with unique traits and abilities that come natural to us without us even trying. Once you identify what those are for you, you'll have a better hold on yourself and on life.

Self-awareness is an important step in understanding how to stay focused + positive because only you know what motivates you.

When you have control over yourself, you become stronger and more able to deal with anything in life. We can't always control what happens in life, but we can control our actions and how we respond to things. 

So, what does this have to do with this post? I want to stress the importance of knowing your strengths and realizing that those were given to you for a reason.

I used to absolutely hate the fact that I was so observant. Absolutely hate it. You know why?

Because I saw everything. I couldn't close my eyes to things (oftentimes hurtful things), because my eyes were so open and soaking in everything. I'd notice details that no one else would.

As I grew older, I realized that this was one of my gifts.

I'd like you to first discover and identify your unique gifts and actually use those to your advantage in staying focused + positive.

Capitalize on those natural abilities you have. You do it best, and that is why you need to use them.

Once you identify your unique gifts in all areas of life, you will have a better hold on dealing with things. Your weaknesses wouldn't matter because you'd be focusing on your strengths.

This is powerful. 

So, now let's get into how I personally stay focused + positive. Here we go!

1| Pause

Hit the pause button.

This has saved much heartache, and it will continue to save me much heartache.

We all have the natural tendency to judge situations before they even have time to simmer. I am guilty all the time. I worry A LOT. I question things A LOT.

But, the one thing that has saved me most times is taking a minute to let things play out, naturally.

When we rush things, we end up reacting in ways that may not be authentic to ourselves. We may say or do things that aren't the best representation of us.

Many times, I've also found that my emotional state at the moment had influenced my reactions as well. So many factors come into play when situations arise, so taking a minute to digest everything works wonders.

Learn to respond, not react. This means, when something happens, instead of instantly reacting, give it some time.

Evaluate the situation for as long as you need to, then respond. A reaction is not always necessary.

2| Lessen your distractions

This one's a tricky one.

I was going to say cut out all of your distractions, but let's be real, some distractions are just a part of life and can't be avoided. Mommy life, anyone?

Instead, let's do a fun little exercise, shall we?

Identify all of your key distractions and try to lessen any of them that you have control over.

If there's anything in particular that doesn't add value to your life, go ahead and ditch that mother.

One of the distractions that I had and made a decision to eliminate was Facebook.

Anytime I would get off of Facebook, I would always think, did I just waste 2 hours of my life just now? 

I would feel horrible, not only because I wasted valuable time, but I unwillingly became a part of negativity or drama on a daily basis.

So, that habit had to go.

Distractions could be people, places, things, etc.

3| Be mindful of what you allow

Sometimes the very things that we allow into our lives are the very things that drown us and keep us down.

Learn to be selective about what you allow into your life. It could be something small, but things grow roots.

Everything drains our time in one way or the other, so let it be something worthwhile.

Keep an eye out on everything that comes into your life - be it opportunities, people, or things.

Every cause has an effect, so if it's not something that will add value to your life (as stated earlier) identify it, and don't allow it. Preventing hurt or disappointment from happening down the road is so worth it.

Filter through things before you allow it to take up your time, energy, and attention. You'll need all of that for the more important things.

Let your yes be yes and your no be no, and only say yes to those things that you feel are worthwhile. So many times we say yes to things that don't serve us well or that we don't really want to do.

Don't be afraid to say no in order to say yes to what really matters.

5| Be authentic to you

Focus on your own stuff.

So many times we are losing our focus because we are taking our attention off of our own path and staring too hard at someone else's.

We need to pull the plug of comparison and realize that the answers are within us.

Focus on what you do best. Focus on your strengths.

I came across a post on Instagram one day by fellow boss babe, Promise Tangeman, that stuck with me.

She said, "Don't waste your time trying to 'find' your style. The truth is you already have it. You may just need to create more in order to see it."

I think this is so true.

We need to focus on creating from our unique space and see where it takes us.

Staying focused is so important in being a creative. You need to protect your space because outside influences can unknowingly interfere with your authenticity.

You want to be true to you, and that takes looking inward and being mindful of distractions that could interfere with that on a daily basis.

6| Know what you want

What are your priorities? What's important to you?

These questions will help you focus better.

When you know what you want and where you want to be, you will have a clearer vision of what you need to do to get there. When you know what's at the top of your list, you'll be able to breeze through all of these steps with ease.

It's amazing what we'll do for what we want.

If you have made a decision that you don't want negativity in your life, you'll steer clear from it.

Making clear and conscious choices toward what you want is a definite way to get closer to your goals and to achieving them.

Setting priorities is so important especially when there are so many things that are pulling for our attention on a daily basis.

When you know what you want, you'll be able to communicate that to the world, and it will come back to you.

If you put out love and encouragement, guess what? That's exactly what you'll be associated with and that's what you'll attract.

7| Identify your why

There's something so life-changing in knowing exactly why you are doing things in the first place.

Start with the basics.

Why do you wake up in the morning? Why do you go to work? Why do you want a better life for your family?

Once you begin to answer these things, your life will take on a deeper meaning and you'll be so motivated to wake up every day.

There's nothing like being on a path with no direction. We need to be headed somewhere in order to feel driven.

If you don't know where you're going or why you're doing it, you'll be headed no where fast.

Be inspired by your "why" and let it be that constant inspiration for you.

8| Celebrate small victories

Take the time, even if but for a moment, to celebrate those small victories of yours.

We need to be our best cheerleaders!

Sometimes days turn into months and months turn into years, and we forget to stop and enjoy where we are today.

There's a lot that needed to happen for you to reach the point that you are at now, so be proud of it.

It will motivate you to keep pressing forward and to not give up. 

9| Don't dig up in doubt what you planted in faith

Let's face it, some days are not the best, and some days you may question if what you're focusing your energy on is even worth the sleepless nights, stress, and uncertainty.

But, stop for a minute and know one thing: There was a moment in time where you made a decision.

You put your heart out and risked everything for it. You knew that you'd have to muster up the courage to execute it.

For that very reason, you demonstrated great faith, and it's for that exact same reason that you can't give up no matter how difficult things get. 

10| Do it with all your heart, or not at all

I wanted my final tip to just encourage you to not be too hard on yourself.

I know how difficult things can get sometimes, and the pressure to perform and be amazing is overwhelming to say the least.

Give yourself the permission to take a break when you feel you need it.

Don't worry, things will not fall apart. People can wait. Demands can chill.

You need to focus on yourself, your happiness, and if you need to refresh your perspective or just need a little breather, do it.

It's better to do things with all of you instead of putting out something that's not from your heart or that is forced.

Allow yourself to be exactly as you are in all seasons of life.

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If you made it to the end of this post, you are a true rockstar! I do hope that this was helpful for you and that it truly provides some actionable steps that you can take to get more focused + stay positive.

If you need more inspiration on the daily, I post every day on Instagram + I keep you motivated and accountable to those dreams of yours! I'm here for you, and I am rooting for you every step of the way!  

Do you have any tips on how you stay focused + positive? Please share with all of us in the comments below!  

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It just occurred to me how powerful what I'm about to say could be in someone's life. I just had an "aha" moment just a few minutes ago, and I knew I had to put this out there because I realized just how very true what I'm about to say has been in my life - all my life - and how impactful this could be to someone.

You know that feeling when you want something so bad, you feel that you have to force it into your life? You do everything in your power to make it happen, only to be met with resistance?  

There is nothing, and I am going to say this again - NOTHING - that can separate you from what is already yours.  

Let that sink in.  

In essence, you can not screw up what is right for you. You just can't. That job. That relationship. That dream. It does not matter what it is!  

So, if you're like me - impatient. Stop that. Stop that right now!

It is just now occurring to me just how impatient I am and how controlling I can be at times. I want things when I want it and how I want it - which tends to be immediately.

Of course, there is an opposite side to me that can be patient, but in a long-term sense. I can be patient when I have already committed to something that I know and understand is going to take time.

See, there is a difference. 

When you want something immediately, it is because your mind is saying that you have to have it now or never. On the flip side, if you know that you can't get it immediately and that it will take time, your brain will flip a different switch that says, "Okay, I either need to commit to seeing this through or it's time to throw in the towel. This is just not for me." 

I know that there are a lot of us out there that try so hard to force something that is just not right for us. Time, my friends - things take time. Nothing is ever going to happen immediately which is of high value - and the only way to receive the rewarding things in life is to be patient.

So, whether you are stuck in a place where you are just not getting the results you want or you just can't seem to ever grab a hold of the things you want, know this: There is a process, and it is happening as we speak.

That process needs to happen in order for you to get what you want. Let things develop in their own timing. Let things grow without rushing it to bloom. Enjoy the present season you are in because it will not last. Just because you do not see the physical proof of things working in your favor does not mean it isn't happening. 

There is a something beautiful about mystery. If we always got exactly what we wanted, when we wanted it, we wouldn't get to enjoy what happened along the way. We wouldn't get to experience the highs, the lows, the joy, and the pain of it all. 

Another amazing thing is that we wouldn't get to appreciate what we have unless we have already grown into the person ready for that particular event to happen. We need to grow into the person we need to be. We can't just all-of-a-sudden arrive when it's not our time.

So, what is it that you want so bad? What is it that you are forcing to happen? What is it that you are impatient about? Now is the moment to just stop worrying about when it's going to happen. Focus on letting things happen in their own timing. Do exactly what you need to do to grow toward what you want, and it will happen. It will happen, and you won't know what you did because that's exactly it; You didn't need to do anything spectacular or do cartwheels and backflips to get it. It happened, naturally.  

The best things in life happen naturally, unexpected. When's the last time you saw a flower that needed a pep talk to bloom? Never. Or a tree that had to do 1,000 pushups to grow tall? Okay, now I'm Just trying to make you laugh, but you get the point, right!

So, don't be so hard on yourself anymore, okay? You deserve nothing but THE best in life, and you will get it because there's nothing that will keep you from what's already yours. Not the mistakes you've made, the things you did or didn't do.

When something does not happen the way you expect it or want it to - you should be happy. Why? Because that means that you are getting closer to something that is right for you. You're eliminating all of the other options, and that is a good thing. 

Understand that the best things in life do take time, and guess what? God's timing is perfect. 

I want the best for you! Enjoy the journey getting to the things you want. That's the best part after all.

---

So, what is it that you want in life that you are now willing to be patient for? I'd love to hear about it in the comments below.

It's totally natural to feel discouraged, especially when you are headed down a path that may only currently make sense to you. Doing what you feel in your heart to accomplish is often a lonely road filled with many moments where you question the very fabric of who you are. There will be times when you just need someone to reach out to you with some encouraging words. For some, that comes, and for others, it may not.

From a young age, I always felt that in order for me to succeed, I had to push myself and encourage myself. If I didn't do it, no one else would, so I made a promise to be that motivating voice for myself. That was one of the strategies that got me through being a young single mom, through high school while juggling a baby, through college while juggling work, and ultimately, to where I am today. Not only did I not rely on others for their validation or their approval, I took it upon myself to really dig deep within and find that inner strength. 

I know what it feels like to not be encouraged by the people around you, so today, I wanted to focus on how to stay encouraged. It's an important part of the journey of life to stay lifted, so not only should we encourage others, we must focus on ourselves and keep the most important person in the room happy - us! If we're not encouraged, how can we make an impact on this world and the lives of others? It's a cycle that starts with you and I.  

Tap into your inner strength.

Seeking outside validation is the fast track toward defeat. Not only will you get disappointed, but you will get drained looking for validation. Instead, be self-propelled and rely on your inner strength to fuel you. If we give people the power to feed us, we also give them the power to starve us. So, avoid being attached to external voices, which may limit you or give you a false identity. You have it in you to stay motivated, pushed, and propelled. Stay focused on that inner voice.

Surround yourself with the right people.

The people you do surround yourself with should be those that have the ability to uplift you, motivate you, and support your undertakings. Once you make that decision, your world will change because your environment will change. Not only does this include the people physically around you, but your online crowd as well. Flood your social media accounts with motivational content by following leaders and people that inspire.

It's also important to never adapt who you are for someone else or let anyone belittle you, your dreams, or your aspirations in exchange for making them feel comfortable. Instead, seek uplifting relationships and let go of tolerating people that either don't value you or can never step outside of themselves for a moment. You'll be surprised by how many people are out there that will actually support and encourage you because they are confident in their own journey.

Give of yourself.

Build your network around the idea of giving and it will be so rewarding. When you help others, not only does it feel amazing, but you will start to build authentic relationships. Taking our sights off of ourselves sometimes is so important because it allows us to set aside our personal issues for a moment leading us to feel fulfilled with a greater work.

When you discover other people's journeys, you'll start to be encouraged by their story, too. They will inspire you and it will be encouraging to know that you're not the only one going through certain challenges. You'll have the right people to relate to and be able to uplift each other.

Work your tush off. 

There's nothing better than immersing yourself in your passion and blocking out all of the noise and distraction that can cloud our judgement at times. When you simply commit to what makes you happy, not only will you be filled with joy, but you'll be filled with contentment. Focusing on your work can bring so much reward and it will drown out any other voices. Working on your craft will also encourage you to keep at it and put in more work. Every day you will feel like you're walking in your purpose and fulfilling your dreams.

Stay inspired.

Staying inspired every day builds a momentum that only keeps growing. When you focus on creating, coming up with new ideas, projects, planning, and the like, you will be too occupied with the good stuff to be distracted by the bad. When you are inspired, you are happy - and that radiates to other areas of your life. 

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These are five ways that I have found to be absolutely encouraging in my journey. However, there are still so many other ways to stay encouraged - like having a tub of chocolate ice cream on standby. Who doesn't feel better after ice cream? 

I think the main thing here is to just keep doing what you love to do, and by that, I mean everything. Once you get that ball rolling, it becomes easier to tap into that inner voice that says, "You know what? You're the bomb!" Ok, corny, I know. Haha! Stay encouraged, my friend. I'm here cheering you on!

Speaking of getting the ball rolling, here's an inspiring read that I think you'll like. 

What ways do you stay encouraged? I would love to hear about it in the comments below!

Hey loves, so I read this excerpt by Mindy Kaling - which I also shared on the Hello Lovely Living Facebook page - and it got me thinking about confidence a little bit deeper. It also made me realize just how much of a struggle it is to many of us. To some degree, we all struggle with insecurities. Yes, some people are better at masking their insecurities and lack of confidence, but the truth is, we all deal with it in different ways - sometimes better than others. 

When you look at a person, what are the characteristics that, to you, exude confidence? Although we'd like to think many are just "born" with confidence, that is far from the reality of things. Many of the most confident and successful people in the world did not start out that way. Actually, they struggled with self-doubt or still struggle with it. How many stories have you heard about the underdog rising to greatness? A lot, right?

It reminds me of an excerpt that I recently came across that said, "If you want to shrink something, you must first allow it to expand. If you want to get rid of something, you must first allow it to flourish. If you want to take something, you must first allow it to be given. This is called the subtle perception of the way things are. The soft overcomes the hard. The slow overcomes the fast. Let your workings remain a mystery. Just show people the results." - Lao Tzu 

Isn't it amazing how, in order to become the very thing we want to become, we must oftentimes first experience the opposite of that, so that we can learn to overcome it? People will not always see or realize that in order to get to a place of confidence, we must first go through a place of doubt and insecurity. It is in that testing ground that we build character, which ultimately develops our confidence.

Life's all about opportunities to change and insecurity is an opportunity: In this case, to rise up and step out beyond what you thought you were capable of. I, myself, have found that there were several seasons in my life where my confidence was at an untouchable high and I felt as if I could accomplish anything - then there were times where I experienced unquestionable lows, where I felt defeated. Confidence is not something you gain once and never have to build up again. It's something you have to constantly cultivate and develop within yourself daily. It's something that you can lose so easily, too.

So, in my experience, where do I think confidence comes from? Action. You know that very thing that you are extremely scared of doing? That thing that makes your heart beat fast and gives you butterflies? Do it! Yes, that thing. When we do not do the thing that gives us life, we are only adding to that deep insecurity that lives in us - that voice that says, "You can't do it. You're not smart enough." And on and on. The only thing that will drown out those voices is action. The moment you step out is your defining moment, which says, "I believe in myself. I have what it takes. I can do this."

Once you take consistent leaps, you'll begin to see a change in yourself and you will see that confidence is not about what you look like, what your background is, where you come from, or reserved for a special type of person, etc. It's your effort and how much you are willing to step out that determines how much confidence you have at the end of the day, because every step proves to yourself that you can do it, and that you will do it - and succeed. It's that belief in yourself and consistent action that will develop you and make you grow so that you can be prepared for the next level of challenges.

So, love, what is it that you've been shying away from doing, from stepping into? You have everything you need within you to accomplish what it is that your heart is leading you towards. The only thing to do next is take a step and believe in yourself. <3

So, how do you build your confidence? I'd love to hear in the comments! Make sure to follow me on Facebook where I share a lot of inspiring content.