Motivation Monday: How to build confidence
Hey loves, so I read this excerpt by Mindy Kaling - which I also shared on the Hello Lovely Living Facebook page - and it got me thinking about confidence a little bit deeper. It also made me realize just how much of a struggle it is to many of us. To some degree, we all struggle with insecurities. Yes, some people are better at masking their insecurities and lack of confidence, but the truth is, we all deal with it in different ways - sometimes better than others.
When you look at a person, what are the characteristics that, to you, exude confidence? Although we'd like to think many are just "born" with confidence, that is far from the reality of things. Many of the most confident and successful people in the world did not start out that way. Actually, they struggled with self-doubt or still struggle with it. How many stories have you heard about the underdog rising to greatness? A lot, right?
It reminds me of an excerpt that I recently came across that said, "If you want to shrink something, you must first allow it to expand. If you want to get rid of something, you must first allow it to flourish. If you want to take something, you must first allow it to be given. This is called the subtle perception of the way things are. The soft overcomes the hard. The slow overcomes the fast. Let your workings remain a mystery. Just show people the results." - Lao Tzu
Isn't it amazing how, in order to become the very thing we want to become, we must oftentimes first experience the opposite of that, so that we can learn to overcome it? People will not always see or realize that in order to get to a place of confidence, we must first go through a place of doubt and insecurity. It is in that testing ground that we build character, which ultimately develops our confidence.
Life's all about opportunities to change and insecurity is an opportunity: In this case, to rise up and step out beyond what you thought you were capable of. I, myself, have found that there were several seasons in my life where my confidence was at an untouchable high and I felt as if I could accomplish anything - then there were times where I experienced unquestionable lows, where I felt defeated. Confidence is not something you gain once and never have to build up again. It's something you have to constantly cultivate and develop within yourself daily. It's something that you can lose so easily, too.
So, in my experience, where do I think confidence comes from? Action. You know that very thing that you are extremely scared of doing? That thing that makes your heart beat fast and gives you butterflies? Do it! Yes, that thing. When we do not do the thing that gives us life, we are only adding to that deep insecurity that lives in us - that voice that says, "You can't do it. You're not smart enough." And on and on. The only thing that will drown out those voices is action. The moment you step out is your defining moment, which says, "I believe in myself. I have what it takes. I can do this."
Once you take consistent leaps, you'll begin to see a change in yourself and you will see that confidence is not about what you look like, what your background is, where you come from, or reserved for a special type of person, etc. It's your effort and how much you are willing to step out that determines how much confidence you have at the end of the day, because every step proves to yourself that you can do it, and that you will do it - and succeed. It's that belief in yourself and consistent action that will develop you and make you grow so that you can be prepared for the next level of challenges.
So, love, what is it that you've been shying away from doing, from stepping into? You have everything you need within you to accomplish what it is that your heart is leading you towards. The only thing to do next is take a step and believe in yourself. <3
So, how do you build your confidence? I'd love to hear in the comments! Make sure to follow me on Facebook where I share a lot of inspiring content.