How To Help Your Child When They're Struggling
As a parent, you often know something is wrong before your child says a word. The signs are subtle: conversations that once flowed now end with “fine,” doors close more often, and your once expressive child becomes distant. These changes can be confusing, even alarming. While some shifts are a natural part of growing up, others may signal deeper emotional struggles.
This is where most parents get stuck. And while changes as children move through teenage years are to be expected, it doesn't mean this is always normal or to be expected. Sometimes it can indicate something else is amiss, and the last thing you want is for you to make things worse by pushing when they're not ready to open up.
And honestly, it's becoming somewhat of an epidemic with more kids and teens as they're feeling low-stressed or overwhelmed. The CDC said recently that about 4 in 10 high schoolers felt persistently sad or hopeless. That's not an insignificant number; it's a worrying sign for young people across the country.
As parents and caregivers, recognizing these emotional shifts is crucial. Instead of forcing conversations or quick fixes, cultivating a patient, empathetic environment encourages teens to feel safe when they are ready to express themselves. This might include modeling healthy coping mechanisms, encouraging mindfulness practices, or seeking professional support when necessary.
Remember, your role is not to have all the answers but to hold space for their feelings, providing steady support in their journey through this complex phase. By embracing awareness and compassion, you can help them foster resilience and find pathways to healing and personal growth.
In this article, we’ll explore practical, compassionate ways to support your child when they’re feeling low, stressed, or overwhelmed. From recognizing early warning signs to creating a safe, predictable home environment, we’ll walk through actionable steps you can take to help your child feel seen, heard, and supported—without pushing them away. We’ll also highlight when it’s time to seek professional help and how to do so effectively.
No. 1
Start Small, Not Heavy
When kids are struggling, a serious “we need to talk” can feel intimidating. Instead, create opportunities for low-pressure conversations. Engage them while doing everyday activities—walking the dog, driving to school, or cooking dinner. These moments feel less confrontational and more natural.
Try Asking:
“How was today?”
“Has anyone been annoying you lately?”
“You seem more tired than usual after school.”
These simple, open-ended questions let your child know you’re paying attention. Even if all you get is a shrug, that’s okay. You’re building trust, and sometimes just knowing someone notices is enough.
No. 2
Make Home Predictable and Safe
When children feel emotionally unsettled, routine becomes a powerful source of comfort. A consistent home environment tells their nervous system, “You’re safe here.”
Create a Calming Environment by:
Keeping regular mealtimes and bedtimes
Maintaining a morning routine
Minimizing chaos and loud arguments
Apologizing and repairing when tensions rise
You don’t need a Pinterest-perfect home. You just need a space that feels stable and safe. kids watch how you handle stress and use this to guide their own feelings. Child Mind Institute emphasizes the importance of emotional safety in the home, especially for kids dealing with anxiety or depression.
No. 3
Check the Basics First
Before jumping to conclusions about moodiness or laziness, run through the essentials. Many behavioral issues stem from unmet basic needs.
Ask Yourself:
Are they eating enough nutritious food?
Are they getting adequate sleep?
Are they overstimulated by screens?
Are they overscheduled with activities?
Sometimes, the solution isn’t a deep emotional talk—it’s a warm meal, a quiet evening, and a good night’s sleep. HealthyChildren.org offers great resources on managing screen time and improving sleep hygiene for kids and teens.
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No. 4
Ease the Load
Today’s kids are juggling more than ever—school, sports, social media, extracurriculars, and family obligations. It’s no wonder they feel overwhelmed.
Signs They May Be Doing Too Much:
Frequent meltdowns or irritability
Withdrawal from activities they once enjoyed
Trouble sleeping or concentrating
Give them permission to rest. Let them skip a practice, cancel a plan, or take a mental health day. Rest isn’t indulgence—it’s a necessity. The American Academy of Pediatrics supports the importance of downtime for children’s mental health.
No. 5
Give Them the Words
Kids often struggle to articulate how they feel. You can help by modeling emotional language and labeling their experiences.
Try Saying:
“That sounds like it really frustrated you.”
“It seems like you felt left out.”
“I get sad sometimes, too—it’s okay to feel that way.”
Using emotional vocabulary helps normalize feelings and teaches them how to express themselves. Over time, this builds emotional intelligence and resilience. Greater Good Science Center offers excellent tools for building emotional literacy in children.
No. 6
Loop in the School
If you’re concerned, discreetly reach out to your child’s school. Teachers and counselors often notice things you can’t see at home.
What to Ask:
“Have you noticed any changes in my child’s behavior?”
“Could someone quietly check in on them?”
“Are there any support services available?”
If the school confirms your concerns, don’t jump to punishment. Instead, work together to understand what’s behind the behavior. Understood.org provides resources for collaborating with schools on mental health and learning challenges.
No. 7
Change Up the Tech
Phones and screens aren’t inherently bad—but without boundaries, they can contribute to stress, anxiety, and sleep disruption.
Try These Tech Tweaks:
No phones at dinner
No doom-scrolling in bed
One tech-free hour after school
Most importantly, do it with them. Show them that balance isn’t punishment—it’s self-care. Common Sense Media offers age-appropriate screen time guidelines and tips for healthy digital habits.
No. 8
Don’t Do It Alone
If your child has been feeling low for more than a couple of weeks, and your efforts aren’t making a difference, it’s time to seek professional help. This isn’t a sign of failure—it’s a sign of love and commitment.
Where to Start:
Talk to your pediatrician
Contact a school counselor
Use a service like Emora Health to connect with licensed therapists who specialize in children, teens, and young adults
Online therapy can be a less intimidating option for many kids, especially teens. It’s important to find someone who understands the unique needs of your child’s age and stage.
No. 9
Keep Showing Up
Even when they pull away, keep showing up. Your consistency is a lifeline. Sometimes they’ll talk about everything except what’s really bothering them—and that’s okay. Your presence still matters.
A simple “I love you” or “I’m proud of you” via text can mean the world, especially for college kids or teens who aren’t home often. Be the steady, reliable presence they can count on.
No. 10
Care for Yourself, Too
Supporting a struggling child is emotionally taxing. You matter in this equation. You can’t pour from an empty cup.
Ways to Care for Yourself:
Take breaks when you need them
Talk to a therapist or trusted friend
Practice your own self-care routines
Model healthy coping strategies
Let your child see that even adults need support sometimes. It teaches them that asking for help is a strength, not a weakness.
Takeaways
As we’ve explored in this article, supporting a child who’s struggling emotionally is one of the most challenging—and most important—roles a parent can play. From starting small conversations to seeking professional help, every step you take shows your child that they are not alone.
Trust your instincts, stay consistent, and don’t be afraid to ask for help. Your presence, your patience, and your perseverance can make all the difference. And remember, caring for yourself is part of caring for them.
Because sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is simply keep showing up.
Helpful Resources for Parents
You’re doing better than you think. Keep going.
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