These past few weeks, I've been thinking about the direction my content is taking, and I want to bring it back to me being able to express myself more. Writing is such a therapeutic outlet for me. I feel like certain platforms are not very suitable for sharing many of the deep thoughts and conversations I want to be having. This is where my blog comes into play. I want it to be a space where I can share myself in full transparency and be able to talk about things that are important to me on a more personal note.

I get the question a lot about what I "do", and in all honesty, this is a very complicated question for me to answer because I am not a cookie-cutter personality that can be perfectly packaged. I have accepted the fact that I do not fit a certain type of mold that is easily digestible. I accept the fact that I am not for everyone and that some people may not have the time or patience to understand me or what I have to offer.

With that said, I am creating a brand that is my own and not forcing myself into a niche or category that limits me and makes me feel trapped. Today, it is easy to listen to advice that says that you have to do this, that, and the other to succeed. I need to put one fact out there into the universe: I was never one to follow the rules or do what everyone else is doing. I do what I want and how I want to do it. I do not believe in limiting myself or allowing other's opinions to drive my creativity. I truly operate from my heart, and when I feel like I am veering away from that, it genuinely hurts me.

If you look all around in today's creative community, you'll see that everyone is able to carve out a space for themselves that is uniquely theirs. That is happening today, and that is the climate of the future. Everyone is their own brand. Everyone has something valuable to offer by simply being themselves. I see that authenticity and vulnerability is at the core of all of this. In that same token, it is realizing that you will not be for everyone, and that is ok. The people that do connect with you will truly be for you, trust in you and your work, understand what you have to say, and want to support you naturally because they have a genuine connection with you. It's important to never compromise your value to please someone else when they have expectations that go against the very fabric of who you are.

I came across a video last night by Brendon Burchard, and it is a message that I'd like to share with you as well. It was on the topic of what to do when people don't support you. Basically, anyone's opinions, criticisms, and judgments are none of your business. People are not required to do anything for you, just as you're not required to do anything for them. There is a common exchange that happens when, oftentimes, we take what people say or do, and we use that to influence the direction of our thoughts and actions. That is completely unhealthy to do. Instead, we need to be focusing on our goals, aspirations, and dreams and putting energy toward that - not what anyone has to say in response to it. Not everyone is going to understand us, and it is not our job to explain ourselves to people who are committed to misunderstanding us. 

I hope this maybe sheds some light for you if you are a creative or just someone who is feeling discouraged. Truly, no one has that power over you, so don't feel so pressured to do anything that you are not comfortable with. You are a respectable person with integrity by choosing to stand your ground. We are more than what we do, and at the end of the day, we have the choice of what direction we want to take whether or not anyone agrees with it.

What are your thoughts and experiences on these topics? I'd really love to hear your story and how you've dealt with these things. It would really help me, and I'm sure many others.

I hope that you enjoyed that little diary entry. In this series, I want to really be open to discussing any topic that I feel is on my mind. It's a way to open the communication for us to not feel alone about things that are often hidden and that are too taboo to talk about on a perfectly curated feed. If you have any topics or things you'd like me to touch on, do feel free to post those in the comment section below. This is a space where we can talk about real topics that impact us and is a safe zone to share things without judgment.

Before I end this post, I'd like to share a little bit about my glasses that I'm wearing in these photos! What do you think of them? Personally, I am absolutely obsessed with them and haven't taken them off since haha! Actually, before I get into how much I love them, I wanted to share a little side-note with you. The truth behind these photos that you see here is that I just had one of those moments where I just needed to breathe and get away and have a moment to process everything that's been going on in my life right now. These were candid moments where I was literally at the end of my rope, and I didn't know how to make myself feel better other than get into an empty room and have a minute to myself.

Honestly, it really helped to just get away for a moment (even if that was just to my bathroom) haha! I know other moms do this! It's really so important to set aside time for yourself so that you can process things in a healthy way. Anyway, back to the glasses! I chose a tortoiseshell frame because I have always wanted to own a pair. These are from Glasses Gallery, and I actually had several choices, but this is the one I settled on.  It is from a brand called Evisu, which is a Japanese brand. One thing that I loved about Glasses Gallery is that they have a virtual try-on feature, kinda like a Snapchat or Instagram filter! It was so fun trying out some of the glasses. Uriah also got in on the fun as you can see below!

via GIPHY

via GIPHY

Can you believe that these frames are only $95. Of course, prescription lenses added onto that price, but I think this is so worth it because they offer designer glasses that are so affordable. They are actually currently having a promotion for free prescription lenses on select frames for $95, so do check it out. It did take a little over a week for me to receive my glasses because they did ship from Hong Kong and USPS was late a couple days, but I am very pleased with them, so it was worth the wait. I am so glad that they match my face shape and that they fit so well because I had never physically tried them on, so I was a bit worried that I may not like them. It really did help that they had that try-on filter because it eliminated me having to wait for frames to try on, return those, then wait again for a pair that I decided on. In actuality, this process is a lot quicker in that sense.

I highly recommend Glasses Gallery if you are looking for an online retailer that offers designer eyeglasses, sunglasses, and sports glasses at affordable prices. You're sure to find something that you like. I was impressed because they have brands like Marc Jacobs, Ray-Ban, and Jimmy Choo along with various others for any look or budget. I personally am not into designer brands, which is why I strictly went on look alone, but I did appreciate that they did have such a great selection for me to choose from.

Okay, I think that's it for this post! Don't forget to share your thoughts in the comments below, and I look forward to another Dear Diary very soon. xo

what topics do you want to hear about in my next dear diary?

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A special thank you to Glasses Gallery for partnering with me on this post. Be sure to check them out for all things glasses!  

This post may contain affiliate links. Please see my privacy policy for a complete disclosure.

Spring has sprung! Seeing the sight of trees in bloom not only gets me excited for warmer months, but it refreshes my perspective and it reminds me that there is beauty in the wait. There are so many subtle reminders in nature that provide the lessons that we need, and I believe that nothing happens by accident. There is a reason for everything. However, like my quote illustrates below, although everything happens for a reason, some things happen for a season.

Yes, we'd all like to believe that everything lasts, but the reality is that life is transient by nature. Things happen that shake up our very existence only to challenge our ability to stand strong in the midst of it. What happens on that testing ground determines the outcome of our circumstances.  

I was having a talk with my son, Kodi, and he made a statement that was so profound. "Thoughts are fluid." I mean, coming from a 14-year-old, that simply blew me away. What he meant by this statement was that you can't control people's thoughts. They change. People change. I mean! Proud mama moment right there.

If thoughts are fluid, we as human beings are, too. We were not meant to be in a solid, permanent state. We were meant to move and adapt. Just like every living thing adapts to the changing seasons, we must do the same. We must also learn to recognize unhealthy patterns in our life and initiate change. 

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“Sometimes we grow
in a twisted, sideways manner
rather than straight up

but in the end,
our branches
always seek the light

and the trees
that bear
the sweetest fruit
endure
the longest winters.”

— April Green

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As the new season approaches, I just want to encourage those of you in particular that may be going through a difficult season. Know that it is not meant to destroy you, but to build you. It will not last forever, it will pass. 

Get excited when there is a time of resistance in life because that is the very time when your strength will come out. You don't know how much you have within you until you are tested. Take this time as an opportunity to bring out the best in yourself and develop areas that you haven't really paid attention to. Shed the old, welcome the new.

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In my personal experience, I've learned how to recognize the different seasons of my life for what they are and not be resistant to whatever lessons that I am supposed to learn in those moments. I actually get really excited when things get hard and difficult because I know that just by going through those experiences, I am growing through them. I welcome every opportunity that requires me to take a deeper look at my life and myself because I don't ever want to be comfortable in my ways or lead a comfortable life where I am never challenged or never challenge myself.

I created the free digital print that you see above for you to frame and keep up as a reminder for those times when it's hard to see things for what they are. Rest in the idea that everything happens for a reason, but know that some things happen for a season. Your seasons do not necessarily define you, you define how your seasons will impact you - either positively or negatively.

Cheers to experiencing the fulness of life through every season!

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I hope you enjoyed this little reminder and that it encouraged you through whatever season you are currently facing today. If you need more inspiration on the daily, I post every day on Instagram + keep you motivated and inspired with uplifting content. I'd love to see you over there!

Do you enjoy these types of posts? Let's chat in the comments below!

I remember back home on Guam the way the ocean twinkled underneath the night's sky. How the water reached the shore ever so gently and filtered through the tiny grains of sand, displacing them over and over again. It was calming, peaceful, and I will never forget the feeling it gave me.

Isn't that exactly how life is? We are constantly tossed and displaced and moved around. 

I'm always looking for inspiration from nature, and this may as well be the perfect fit for what I'm trying to say.

Did you know that based on the size of the grains of sand, pebbles, or rocks on a beach or coast, you can easily determine what conditions they were exposed to?

It's quite simple. Fine grain sand is exposed to powerful ocean swells that repeatedly toss the grains until they become round and polished. Larger pebbles or rocks that are freshly weathered have not yet traveled very far, therefore are not rounded and smoothed. 

Larger pebbles or rocks also suggest that they've been carried to the shore by larger waves, while smaller particles are carried away over longer distances, eventually reaching further, calmer shores.

We all know that fine textured, white, powdery sand is valued all around the world. What if I told you that you must go through the same process as sand if you want to become refined, rounded, and smoothed. You need to travel long distances, be carried away and tossed around by large waves before you reach a place of calm, like what happened on that beach at the beginning of my story.

Things happen in nature that are just that - natural, unobstructed, and part of a process. They are the most beautiful things. There's a cause and effect to everything, and that's something that we don't really think about on a daily basis. We don't realize that we are also part of a process.

We can't really expect different results if we are doing the exact same thing that leads to the result that we don't like. We need to change something in that process in order for change to occur. I am a firm believer that change is necessary, and it is so ingrained in me that I am not scared of it. I accept it, and I welcome it.

Let me give you a bit of context. Growing up, I always moved around. It was never in my mind that I would stay in one place for the rest of my life, nor was it ingrained in me that anyone was guaranteed to stay in my life. It may sound sad, but it's just a part of who I am and who I became. I had to learn to let go at an early age. Of people. Of places. Of situations that weren't good. It was never easy for me, but I had to adapt. 

As an adult, I guess it's so ingrained in me that I have to keep moving forward that I need it. I can't stay in one place or get complacent, especially if I'm not seeing growth within myself. I can't get myself to settle for less than what I know I'm capable of.

What I'm trying to get at is that there is something that you can do to be where you want to be. Change. Change is hard, but it is necessary. You can't wait for change to happen. You have to be the change and be the cause of it. You have to live intentionally if you want to see the life that you desire.

Coming from a small island, it's easy to get complacent and comfortable. It's easy to go with the motions and do the exact same thing over and over again expecting different results. I know exactly how it feels. I believe in persistence, but not if it's not leading me to becoming a better person or to a better place. 

You may not come from a small island like me, and I'm not limiting this kind of behavior to certain environments, but that's my reality that I personally was faced with. Limiting thoughts and behaviors happen to all of us. Naturally, we want to stay in the safe zone - on the shore.

The truth is, you have to break away from what is comfortable. You have to do the things that scare you. You have to be the one to challenge yourself. You have to be the one to say enough is enough. You have to want better for yourself and for your future. It's all dependent on you and only you.

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Coming from one of the most beautiful places on earth makes me reflect on the memories that are forever ingrained in me. When they say no place is like home, it's true. But, it's only true when you leave home. When your eyes become open to the world around you. When you step outside of known territory and into something different and challenging.

Leaving home is always hard, but it is necessary - in a literal and figurative sense. Home can be anywhere you find comfort in. It may be a job, a person, a habit, a way of thinking, etc.

The only way for you to have new eyes is to literally remove yourself from the very place that you've become numb to. I don't believe that anyone should become numb at any point in life. Life is meant to be felt and to be experienced. Becoming apathetic toward life, to me, is a slow and painful death. I never ever want to become that way.

Once you feel yourself starting to get numb, that should be a sign that something needs to change. Sometimes that change needs to happen from within. Other times, external factors need to change.

Life is all about constant evaluation. No one is meant to stay in the exact same place, especially if it is unhealthy to them or leading them to be less than what they are capable or deserving of.

Nowhere in this post will I say that it is easy. It is extremely hard and difficult. We get really comfortable even with things that aren't good for us. We tolerate things and give excuses for the very things that we know are wrong for us. 

At one point in time, I was in a very emotionally and mentally destructive relationship and I stayed. Why? Because I was already at that point where I found comfort in the process. Destructive patterns are hard to break from, and I can say from experience that I have struggled with it, and I know what it feels like. I know that I will continue to be faced with destructive patterns that I constantly need to reevaluate. This is life.

In any process of breaking, stretching, or growing, there will be resistance, and you will have to go through the pain associated with it in order to come out stronger. 

Pain is part of the process of growth. It may not be physical pain, but it could be emotional pain or mental pain, which is not any less painful.

One thing I know for sure is that each time I went through a painful process, I always emerged a better person with so much more to give and knew that I was deserving of so much more. 

Today, I encourage you to do the very thing you know you need to do. Don't wait until it's too late. There is something better for you. A better process. A better outcome. You can't expect to get to a certain ideal place unless you grow through life. You can't simply go through it. You must learn something and truly let your life unfold without holding onto things that you know are hindering you from your best self. Your best life.

In closing, be like sand. Travel far. Be refined. You're becoming your best self through the process. It may be difficult, but nothing of value ever came to be without being exposed to the elements. You'll reach a place of calm, eventually. When all is said and done, the distance you traveled will equal the depth of your experience. Let the waves mold you.

Cheers to you experiencing the best of life. 

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As the new year approaches, it's a great time to start thinking about the deeper things and constantly holding yourself accountable to the direction that your life takes. I hope I've inspired you a teeny bit with this post. xo

If you need more inspiration on the daily, I post every day on Instagram + I keep you motivated and inspired. 

Did you find this helpful? I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments below!

Do you ever wonder how some people can stay so focused no matter what is happening around them?

Gosh, what is up with those people!? An asteroid could be approaching earth, and they'd still be in their own world.

Confession. I'm one of those very people. *covers eyes*

I'd like to offer some insight into the mind of someone (me) who can stay freakishly focused.

Oh, I do have my moments (don't get me wrong), but it does take a lot - and I mean a A LOT - to get me distracted.

Once I set my heart on something, it's done. It's over. I will follow through.

Now, for the positivity - that has taken a lot of work for me over the years. It'll always be a work in progress for me, but I think staying focused + positive go hand-in-hand.

I'll be sharing 10 ways that have worked for me in staying focused + positive in business and in life. 

I hope this will be helpful to those of you who are trying to find that balance. 

Before we start, first thing's first: I want to point out something so important.

We are all born with unique traits and abilities that come natural to us without us even trying. Once you identify what those are for you, you'll have a better hold on yourself and on life.

Self-awareness is an important step in understanding how to stay focused + positive because only you know what motivates you.

When you have control over yourself, you become stronger and more able to deal with anything in life. We can't always control what happens in life, but we can control our actions and how we respond to things. 

So, what does this have to do with this post? I want to stress the importance of knowing your strengths and realizing that those were given to you for a reason.

I used to absolutely hate the fact that I was so observant. Absolutely hate it. You know why?

Because I saw everything. I couldn't close my eyes to things (oftentimes hurtful things), because my eyes were so open and soaking in everything. I'd notice details that no one else would.

As I grew older, I realized that this was one of my gifts.

I'd like you to first discover and identify your unique gifts and actually use those to your advantage in staying focused + positive.

Capitalize on those natural abilities you have. You do it best, and that is why you need to use them.

Once you identify your unique gifts in all areas of life, you will have a better hold on dealing with things. Your weaknesses wouldn't matter because you'd be focusing on your strengths.

This is powerful. 

So, now let's get into how I personally stay focused + positive. Here we go!

1| Pause

Hit the pause button.

This has saved much heartache, and it will continue to save me much heartache.

We all have the natural tendency to judge situations before they even have time to simmer. I am guilty all the time. I worry A LOT. I question things A LOT.

But, the one thing that has saved me most times is taking a minute to let things play out, naturally.

When we rush things, we end up reacting in ways that may not be authentic to ourselves. We may say or do things that aren't the best representation of us.

Many times, I've also found that my emotional state at the moment had influenced my reactions as well. So many factors come into play when situations arise, so taking a minute to digest everything works wonders.

Learn to respond, not react. This means, when something happens, instead of instantly reacting, give it some time.

Evaluate the situation for as long as you need to, then respond. A reaction is not always necessary.

2| Lessen your distractions

This one's a tricky one.

I was going to say cut out all of your distractions, but let's be real, some distractions are just a part of life and can't be avoided. Mommy life, anyone?

Instead, let's do a fun little exercise, shall we?

Identify all of your key distractions and try to lessen any of them that you have control over.

If there's anything in particular that doesn't add value to your life, go ahead and ditch that mother.

One of the distractions that I had and made a decision to eliminate was Facebook.

Anytime I would get off of Facebook, I would always think, did I just waste 2 hours of my life just now? 

I would feel horrible, not only because I wasted valuable time, but I unwillingly became a part of negativity or drama on a daily basis.

So, that habit had to go.

Distractions could be people, places, things, etc.

3| Be mindful of what you allow

Sometimes the very things that we allow into our lives are the very things that drown us and keep us down.

Learn to be selective about what you allow into your life. It could be something small, but things grow roots.

Everything drains our time in one way or the other, so let it be something worthwhile.

Keep an eye out on everything that comes into your life - be it opportunities, people, or things.

Every cause has an effect, so if it's not something that will add value to your life (as stated earlier) identify it, and don't allow it. Preventing hurt or disappointment from happening down the road is so worth it.

Filter through things before you allow it to take up your time, energy, and attention. You'll need all of that for the more important things.

Let your yes be yes and your no be no, and only say yes to those things that you feel are worthwhile. So many times we say yes to things that don't serve us well or that we don't really want to do.

Don't be afraid to say no in order to say yes to what really matters.

5| Be authentic to you

Focus on your own stuff.

So many times we are losing our focus because we are taking our attention off of our own path and staring too hard at someone else's.

We need to pull the plug of comparison and realize that the answers are within us.

Focus on what you do best. Focus on your strengths.

I came across a post on Instagram one day by fellow boss babe, Promise Tangeman, that stuck with me.

She said, "Don't waste your time trying to 'find' your style. The truth is you already have it. You may just need to create more in order to see it."

I think this is so true.

We need to focus on creating from our unique space and see where it takes us.

Staying focused is so important in being a creative. You need to protect your space because outside influences can unknowingly interfere with your authenticity.

You want to be true to you, and that takes looking inward and being mindful of distractions that could interfere with that on a daily basis.

6| Know what you want

What are your priorities? What's important to you?

These questions will help you focus better.

When you know what you want and where you want to be, you will have a clearer vision of what you need to do to get there. When you know what's at the top of your list, you'll be able to breeze through all of these steps with ease.

It's amazing what we'll do for what we want.

If you have made a decision that you don't want negativity in your life, you'll steer clear from it.

Making clear and conscious choices toward what you want is a definite way to get closer to your goals and to achieving them.

Setting priorities is so important especially when there are so many things that are pulling for our attention on a daily basis.

When you know what you want, you'll be able to communicate that to the world, and it will come back to you.

If you put out love and encouragement, guess what? That's exactly what you'll be associated with and that's what you'll attract.

7| Identify your why

There's something so life-changing in knowing exactly why you are doing things in the first place.

Start with the basics.

Why do you wake up in the morning? Why do you go to work? Why do you want a better life for your family?

Once you begin to answer these things, your life will take on a deeper meaning and you'll be so motivated to wake up every day.

There's nothing like being on a path with no direction. We need to be headed somewhere in order to feel driven.

If you don't know where you're going or why you're doing it, you'll be headed no where fast.

Be inspired by your "why" and let it be that constant inspiration for you.

8| Celebrate small victories

Take the time, even if but for a moment, to celebrate those small victories of yours.

We need to be our best cheerleaders!

Sometimes days turn into months and months turn into years, and we forget to stop and enjoy where we are today.

There's a lot that needed to happen for you to reach the point that you are at now, so be proud of it.

It will motivate you to keep pressing forward and to not give up. 

9| Don't dig up in doubt what you planted in faith

Let's face it, some days are not the best, and some days you may question if what you're focusing your energy on is even worth the sleepless nights, stress, and uncertainty.

But, stop for a minute and know one thing: There was a moment in time where you made a decision.

You put your heart out and risked everything for it. You knew that you'd have to muster up the courage to execute it.

For that very reason, you demonstrated great faith, and it's for that exact same reason that you can't give up no matter how difficult things get. 

10| Do it with all your heart, or not at all

I wanted my final tip to just encourage you to not be too hard on yourself.

I know how difficult things can get sometimes, and the pressure to perform and be amazing is overwhelming to say the least.

Give yourself the permission to take a break when you feel you need it.

Don't worry, things will not fall apart. People can wait. Demands can chill.

You need to focus on yourself, your happiness, and if you need to refresh your perspective or just need a little breather, do it.

It's better to do things with all of you instead of putting out something that's not from your heart or that is forced.

Allow yourself to be exactly as you are in all seasons of life.

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If you made it to the end of this post, you are a true rockstar! I do hope that this was helpful for you and that it truly provides some actionable steps that you can take to get more focused + stay positive.

If you need more inspiration on the daily, I post every day on Instagram + I keep you motivated and accountable to those dreams of yours! I'm here for you, and I am rooting for you every step of the way!  

Do you have any tips on how you stay focused + positive? Please share with all of us in the comments below!  

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